Back in May of 2024, my brother Kip passed away. It was a great loss to our family as he went through an extended illness. I was honored to give the eulogy at the funeral service. In my closing remarks I recognized my sister-in-law, Debbie, who had hung in there with my brother during his illness. I commended her for keeping and living out her marriage vows.

Some people throw in the towel and abandon their spouses in this situation. Others stay the course.

I recently read a true story of a key leader at a Christian university who resigned from his position in order to take care of his wife who suffered from Alzheimer’s disease. The woman was in her early fifties, and if you know anything about that disease, you know that if it attacks people in their fifties, disintegration of the mind occurs rapidly. It wasn’t long before her mind was gone. Not only was she incapable of recognizing her husband, she could not even recognize herself when she looked in a mirror. Her husband had to feed her. She lost the capacity to speak. Nevertheless, he cared for her, day in and day out.

His friends tried to convince him to put her into an institution where she could get proper care. They urged him to put her in a place where her basic needs would be met, and where people would kindly attend to her requirements for comfort. They pleaded with him not to give up his career and waste his time caring for her. They begged him not to turn away from what was an important ministry to the church, and kept reminding him, “She doesn’t know who you are! She really doesn’t recognize you! She doesn’t know who you are!” Then someone laid the ultimate guilt trip on him by saying, “You’re reneging on your calling from God!”

His answer was remarkable. He said, “You’re right! She doesn’t know who I am. But, I know who she is! And furthermore, there’s only one thing that takes precedence over a calling from God—and that’s a promise. And I promised her that I would be there until death do us part.”

Anthony Campolo, who tells this story said:

I don’t think he’s a happy man, but I am convinced that he’s a good man. Being good is more important than being happy, and there are times we must be ready to forfeit our happiness in order to do the good that is required of us. Certainly, that is what Jesus would do.

And hopefully, this is what we will do!

Richard E Simmons III is the founder and Executive Director of The Center for Executive Leadership and a best-selling author. Richard’s new book, Reflections on Happiness: In a Broken and Chaotic World has arrived and can be purchased on Amazon, and locally at Seibels, Little Professor, Church Street Coffee & Books and our office.