I remember reading Richard Winter’s book, Still Bored in a Culture of Entertainment: Rediscovering Passion & Wonder. Winter argues that, despite having more entertainment options than any generation before us, Western culture is struggling with a deceptive disease—an epidemic of boredom. I believe he is right.

We live in a world filled with distractions, conveniences, and endless opportunities for amusement, yet many people are still asking the same question: “What will make me happy?” Winter writes:

The implication behind this question is that if we can discover the secret to happiness then we will not be miserable or bored. In a survey at the University of Michigan, people were asked what would improve the quality of their lives. One answer stood out above the others: more money. In poor countries, having money to meet basic needs for food, shelter and social contact does make people happier. But beyond that, in countries where most people can afford basic necessities of life, there is a very weak correlation between income and happiness. The more people have, the more they want.

Most of us evaluate our possessions and life styles by comparing ourselves with those who have more than us. We cannot deny that money does bring some happiness and is very convenient and helpful, but it too easily dominates our lives. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi writes, “As is true of addiction in general, material rewards at first enrich the quality of life. Because of this, we tend to conclude that more must be better. But life is rarely linear; in most cases, what is good in small quantities becomes commonplace and then harmful in larger doses.” There are hidden costs that do not become apparent immediately. Csikszentmihalyi comments that as people become increasingly materialistic, their “sensitivity to other reward” begins to “atrophy.” They become bored with things that are not immediately connected to making or spending money.

Friendship, art, literature, natural beauty, religion and philosophy become less and less interesting. The Swedish economist Stephen Linder was the first to point out that as income and, therefore, the value of one’s time increases, it becomes less and less “rational” to spend it on anything besides making money—or on spending it conspicuously. The economic cost of playing with one’s child, reading poetry or attending a family reunion become too high, and so one stops doing such irrational things. Eventually a person who only responds to material rewards becomes blind to any other kind and loses the ability to derive happiness from other sources.

Winter’s central point is that happiness is a by-product, not a goal to be pursued directly. I agree with him. In the work I do with men, I have found that the kind of man you become ultimately determines much of what you will experience in life—including your capacity for genuine happiness.

God never intended happiness to be the ultimate goal of life. Instead, happiness is a by-product of becoming a man of strong character, deep wisdom, and genuine love—someone capable of building significant and lasting relationships. A meaningful life is not found in endlessly pursuing what makes us feel good or trying to eliminate every moment of boredom. It is found in becoming the kind of man God created us to be and living faithfully at the center of His will.

Richard E Simmons III is the founder and Executive Director of The Center for Executive Leadership and a best-selling author.