There is a word we often use to describe a person’s life. That word is “successful.” When used to describe someone’s life, the definition is “having achieved popularity, wealth, or distinction.” For most people, the word “successful” is most often used to describe those who have done well in the workplace.

However, what if a man never reaches as high up the corporate ladder as he once aspired, nor accumulates the type of wealth he always expected? What happens to a man when he begins to realize that his life will never turn out the way he had always hoped, never to be included in the circles of the social elite or the well-connected? Does that mean he did not live a successful life?

So what does all this really mean, and what does it do to a man once he is confronted with this reality? C. S. Lewis has given us wonderful insight into these questions in a renowned speech he delivered to the students of Kings College at the University of London. He titled his speech “The Inner Ring.” As he addressed the students, he warned them of the natural human desire to always want to be a part of the correct inner circles. He explained that these inner circles, these cliques, will inevitably form and reform, in constant change throughout the seasons of a person’s life. They provide no real stability.

He cautioned these students about the consuming ambition to be an insider, cozying up to those who are important and well-to-do in order to be part of an imagined elite. In doing so, Lewis says, we become like the weary traveler in the desert that chases a mirage. Ultimately, our quest to be in the inner circle of the powerful will one day break our hearts.

This is the choice we all face. We can continue to allow this mortal world to define who we are and what our lives are worth, with the knowledge that one day the world will invariably break our hearts. Or alternatively, we can break the world’s hold on our lives by relinquishing ourselves and our identities to become absolutely grounded in Christ’s love and His commitment to our well-being. Make no mistake: irrespective of our station in life, it is a choice we all have to make that will make or break us as men.

As you read and study both the Old and New Testaments, you will notice that God is always confronting His people with a choice. I am reminded of Joshua in a pivotal moment in Israel’s history when he asked the people to choose the god that they would serve. I believe that if he stood before us today, in the midst of the difficult times we are in, he would confront us with a similar choice.

Choose for yourselves today the god whom you will serve: the god of wealth, the god of prestige and power, the god of pleasure, the god of achievement. But as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord. (Joshua 24:15, author paraphrase).

Each of us must choose the god we are going to serve, and then we will have to live with all the consequences that flow from that choice.

Richard E Simmons III is the founder and Executive Director of The Center for Executive Leadership and a best-selling author.